Fairuz in the morning, Um Kulthum by night

Fairuz in the morning
    “I am from Palestine, born in Jordan of course”
    Of course

    Um Kulthum by night

    “I am from Palestine, born in Jordan” – And you? – “Palestine”
    Are you all from Palestine?
    “Remember you are in Jordan” – I know

Fairuz with Nescafe
    to start off the day

    and Um Kulthum to bring on the night
    it will be a long one –

Amman, January 2020

the loudness of grove

Moan the writ, the
loudness of

grove; moan too the ax
    moan the

bite, the etch of stony bite
    moan the boar’s tide
    its wire

now knotted into age
    moan the tangle
        the breadth of being stared at for worth
        moan the eye that stares for worth moan the etch of stony bite the loudness of grove –

Warm steel goes down with
    sunshine, flows

Like the mildewed mist when
    very little is watered

Very little is softened very little
    is going down warm –

I seek the unforgiving and
am forgiven
The unthankedfor & am given
    the heart of sun
    as friend

I locked stone as angel and
am fire
The ax & the anvil & am given
    the fill of moon
    as friend –

the humor of nomirth

The reef is red with paper
    laugh when you can see it
    laugh when you
    care to

Touch the snow that breaks the
    reef red with paper –

When the crouch of morning
    we saw paper as sky
        humor as riddle

And our eyes became less
    of the other – when
        the large nail

Is hammered by the worn leaf
    we saw
    love as the fallen hinge
        that shivers –

No look more starry than
    stonestare no hurt more
    sheer than

wellfall – this river is thief
    this walk on the pier is hunger
    this laugh as red
    paper –

a deliberate earthing

“I am deliberate
and afraid
of nothing.”
An act of will that
    mourns wonder
    weaves magic –

– Quoted words from “New Year’s Day” by Audre Lorde

“Green essence pooled again in my eyes, which paint the grass, which will later bloom in the memories of animals.”
I as earth
    I as animal
    woke as essence of green –

– Quoted words by Alejandra Pizarnik